My Woeful Salary and Indias' Budget 2015

How can you give 28000 as a salary, that too after working for 3 yrs of overhyped-underprivileged Group A Class I officer service? How on earth does this meagre amount qualify for a salary even? This is what I earned for the past two months. Sadly but truly it is 4000 less than what my Group C staff got this month. At one point I had an urge to borrow some from him in lieu of granting 8 extra leaves . 28K in 28 days of Feb. means  I managed to earn only 1000 Rs per day which gives me a feeling of having myself enrolled in MGNREGA rather than working as a Govt officer(Pl add ‘Overhyped’ every time I use this cuss word).

28K is a sum which can swing a Bollywood Maa’s  mood away from honest salaried Police officer Ravi to Bangla-Gaadi-Naukar -Chaakar owning criminal Vijay. 2015 is 40 yrs more than 1975. Presuming Ravi owned 1000 Rs per month then and adding an increment of Avg 1000 Rs per yr (considering in b/w pay commissions) he would have earned 41000 in Feb 2015, 13000 more than me. And to admit my mother is no simple, innocent, white suti saree clad Nirupama Roy of 1975 potboiler Deewar. She knows things and she demands things.  She rattles of Flipkart by heart. Although she calls it Philip Kaat . Last week she asked me to buy “5 sim wala Aashu  Ye Phone ”. It took me 3 google search to decipher her  craving for Asus  Zenfone 5 and 3 days to convince that 5 is not meant for 5 sim slots.(You guessed it right, Aashu is my nickname)

28000 Man??In hindi its called Atthais Hazaar. Infact in hindi it stinks. Even Tees-Battees hazaar commands some respect in social circle. But atthais hazzaar??Although its not true but in general parlance of Bihar,UP Afsar gets Assi (80) hazaar and a Peon gets Paitees (35) hazaar. Where does Atthais fit into it??Bandhua Mazdoor!

I thought Jaitley baba with a mandate of 282 would be heartful enough to part away some amount from Govt coffers as bonus for Holi/Diwali to officers too. I waited for this announcement with bated breath and dog’s curiosity during his budget presentation. But finally all he did was  to move away on his Elephant slowly and surely.

Thankyou for reading.

Indian Railways to replicate ISRO

After ISRO’s success, His MODISTY has asked Indian Railways to replicate something similar. To which all railway officials have responded, unanimously.

After 3 days high intensity meeting of top officials of Engineering, operating, Mechanical, Safety, commercial and don’t know how many deptts  the IR has decided to send a WDM-5H Diesel powered Loco to Mars.  Much deliberation and highly creative minds were invested to name the mission. The onus was to name something which must sound different than MOM or DAD and resembles both Rail and Mars. Finally the mission was named ,but obvious, Rail On Mars (ROM), which has nothing to do with appeasing MOR. Another name which was contemplated was Rail On Mars Surface (ROMS), but then it was dropped citing its similarity to abbreviation MOSR.

The project saw initial hiccups when a hakim type looking babu of Accounts deptt,  who is struggling to come in terms with allopathic medicines and latest technology in railways had put an objection to fund sanction to which the accounts officer has invariably agreed.

The objections were:

9. Why WDM is being sent to Mars bypassing Moon?. Even ISRO first experimented with moon.
10. If WDM stands for “Without Diesel Machine” then why cost of Diesel is put for proposal???

After much explanation and finally coercion the hakim type babu has agreed. To which the officer concerned has also invariably agreed. The explanations given by IOW were:

9. Since mission will launch during day time when moon is not visible so Mars has been chosen as next cost efficient planet.
10. Diesel will be sold off in petrol pumps on Mars which will generate revenue.

It is learnt that no representative from either of the two recognised Union were called in the meeting. The aggrieved,so called shakha-pramukhs,  have put up their so called karmachari-hiit demands so that their so called rail-ka-kaam-sucharu-roop-se-chal-sake takes place.The demands are:

9. one representative of each of the recognised union must be sent along with WDM-5H to Mars.
10. All D&AR case aginst shakha-pramukhs be cancelled before launch.
11. The roof of railway quarters which will eventually be built on Mars must not leak during Martian Monsoon.

If their demands are not met then they will proceed for 30 day long chakka-jam on Mars, for which everyone has agreed.

Even before the trial run of the project started operating deptt has told NO-BLOCK citing heavy bunching of goods rakes in yards. There are also rumors that at the time of launch a shunting engine will only be spared in place of WDM-5H citing heavy bunching.

The signalling deptt has turned its all gears on to convert Red Martian surface to green so as the loco pilot sees all green enroute. It is indeed a great task & when asked how much time will this endeavour will take they have pointed towards their reliable companion Ensaldo. Preparation is in full swing for any unconceived failure for which a draft has already been prepared holding Engg. deptt responsible for the cause.

The commercial deptt has been entrusted to deliver 1000 packets of cockroach-free food for enroute. To celebrate the occasion they have prepared an exhaustive menu of continental, italian, veg, non-veg cuisines and are expected to serve not more than ever green paneer butter masala. Your Luck Will Decide the Number of Paneers in the Gravy.

Unlike ISRO’s jet propulsion system Railway will use an indigenous technology to send WDM-5H to Mars. The in house developed system has been time-tested used in completing several projects against all odds. They have named it “CHASING”. 28 CUG powered mobile phone will be handed free of cost to the crew. An Engineering control will CHASE like hell on all phones and will relay its progress and next day movement in Morning Position to the monitoring officer.

Meanwhile grabbing the opportunity by both hands  safety  deppt has issued list of officers who will do night foot plate on WDM-5H upto Mars.

2 years later after the launch of ROM it was learnt that it is yet to reach Martian Surface. When asked about the possible delay and the location of Loco someone said nonchalantly “Outer pe khadi hai yaar”

JuMbLeD Up

MY Mother taught me LOGIC... 
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me." 

My Mother taught me MEDICINE... 
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way." 

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD... 
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!" 

My Mother taught me ESP... 
"Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?" 

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE... 
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!" 

My Mother taught me HUMOR... 
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... 
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 

My Mother taught me about GENETICS... 
"You are just like your father!" 

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... 
"Do you think you were born in a barn?" 

My Mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE... 
"When you get to be my age, you will understand." 

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... 
"Just wait until your father gets home." 

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING... 
"You are going to get it when we get home." 

And my all time favorite thing--JUSTICE 
"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU.. then you'll see what it's like." 

In between all this, my Mother taught me how to Live! 
Thank you Mom for all I have learned these years.

 

Motivational Quotes

"Don't ever let somebody tell you... You can't do something. ..
You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period. "

Abdul Kalam ke 'kalam se'- Some defining lines from Wings of Fire

To live only for some unknown future is superficial. It is like climbimg a mountain to reach the peak without experiencing its sides. The sides of the mountain sustain life,not the peak.This is where things grow,experience is gained, and technologies are mastered. The importance of the peak lies only in the fact that it defines the sides. So I went on towards the top, but always experiencing the sides. I had a long way to go but I was in no hurry. I went in little steps-just one step after another-but each step towards the top.