Sunday, November 27, 2016

Coins and Notes Call a Nationwide Strike

image courtesy :

The auditorium was packed beyond its capacity. Notes and coins of all denomination were jostling for space. Sweat ensured that all notes new and old looked crumpled as if just rescued from drowning into a washing machine along with a lousy jeans trouser. Torn and worn out notes were pulled up by young brigades wearing silver lined suits. All had assembled to stage a protest.  A protest to earn their self-respect back, a protest to mark their dissent, a protest to bring back the nawabs of Indian currency-500 and 1000 note. It was ironical that those who always comprised ‘change’ or ‘chuttein’ among Indian currency had assembled to resist a change initiated by Govt on 8th of November.

“Remember remember the 8th of November, the ban on 500 and 1000 note. I know of no reason why these currency denomination should ever be forgot”, roared a tattered 5 rupee note as its body trembled like a piece of paper. The improvised dialogue of Guy Fawkes met with thunderous applause from  crowd of 10 rupee, 20 rupee, 50 rupee notes. Whistles and cheers echoed from the fully occupied backbenches as the chiller coins  danced in jubilation .

A 25 paise coin from Bengal, where it is still worth a handful of jhaalmuri, representing the Ting Ming Congress (TMC) addressed the crowd next,”They banned me and my brethrens... hum chup raha,but now their overnight arrest and ban of our leaders will not be tolerated.Karara jawaab milega..karara jawaab milega”, a rupturous crowd was overjoyed.

Next, the Chiller Party of Minting (CPM) representative Bindi Karwahat came down heavily on govt and dared to ban one rupee coin as she uses a rupee coin to make a bindi on her forehead.Her bindi is reportedly safe now as the govt has no plan to ban currency of lower denomination.
AIADMK- All India Anti DeMonetisation Kratikaris have agreed on the sidelines of dubbed Tamil movies on SetMax to stage their version of Aakrosh divas called “Mera Aakrosh Divas” or “Ek aur Aakrosh Divas”. Questioning the intention of government DeMonetisation Kyun (DMK) party chief has lately questioned the govt’s move that created a fear atmosphere among the ordinary currencies of India.

“No one is safe now”, said an old 50 paise kaka.”I have seen many of my siblings being  arrested and banned but in this way never. As long as we coins are used in tosses of cricket match we are safe, but what about the notes?They are still unsafe”, he added.
Taking an offence on its face value a fifty rupee note replied,” You are tossed buddy,  we serve casinos ”.

In a nation driven with emotion, no speech fair or unfair, concludes unless tears swell up in the eyes of spectators. Thus a sobbing crowd next welcomed in admiration the badi bahu of currency, the estranged wife of Rs 500 and a note that served for long the nation’s economical interest with her value of Rs 100. “My tears are not yet dried and I will not let it dry my friends. I seek an answer and I seek it now”. A wave of sympathy, regard and a sense of revenge swept across the crowd. “If a black marketeer uses us for his vested interest, are we to blame?Are we to blame if  someone keeps us not in the bank accounts but unaccounted in the dark lockers of his home? Are we to blame if our foreign counterparts are valued more  than us?  Tell me, o chiillers at the back, are we the Kala Dhan?” The coins rolled down from the back and occupied the front space . The auditorium echoed with “No!! No!!! we are not”. 

“You prefer silence when someone amongst us is kidnapped and replaced with a new face. Silence prevails when we are humiliated by introducing a note of higher denomination even without seeking our approval. Silence prevails when democracy becomes democrisis.  This casteist nation has turned racist. They have labelled their people on the basis of caste and now we are called White, black and pink money.  Will you be silent now when our unity is at stake? Will you be silent when your revered leaders are banned overnight without serving a notice period?Tell me, Will you just remain mute spectators of our dooming fate at the hands of Bourgeoise debit and credit cards. Will you not O! Proleteriat of the nation's economy revolt?Kab Aakhir kab khaulega re khoon tera Faizal?"

Chairs flew up in the air, curtains were ripped apart, beads of tears mixed with sweat sparkled from the clenched fists raised in air . Every coin and note worth its value screamed in resounding approval, “Paanch sau ka, hazaar ka..sabka badla lega re tera Faizal

Thank you for reading.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

A Wednesday!Re-Modified - Common Chaiwallah's Uncommon Story



*Also on**
Neeraj Pandey is set to release the sequel to  his 2008 thriller  drama A Wedenesday. Set on the backdrop of PM's million dollar stroke that is set to change the face of Indian Rupee(Re). The movie is titled A Wednesday:Re-Modified.

The protagonist is an  old chai wallah who is frustrated after serving chais from morning to evening to affluent people.Poor chai wallah is highly irritated when people emerging from luxurious cars offer notes of 500 and 1000 to him and ask "Chacha Chuttey kar do". Feeling it as a mockery to his honest profession at the hands of people who have no worth of Gandhi's ideals or his currency notes.

Tired of such contempt of large currency notes he arrives on the roof top of an under construction building and calls the Governor of the Bank of Nation to share his 'Man ki Baat'. He asks the governor to ban 500 and 1000 currency notes  from Wednesday onwards. If not, he would detonate bombs kept in Chaipatti dabbas delivered as a Diwali gift by him to all banks in the city .

The conversation that ensues is as below:

Chai Wallah (CW): Aapke ghar me cockroach aata hai to aap kya karte hai Governor saab.Aap unko paalte nahi maartey hain. Ye dono note kaala dhan ban kar mere ghar ko ganda kar rhae the aur aaj main apna ghar saaf karna chahta hoon.

Gov: Tum ho kaun?
CW: Main wo hu jo apne pocket me itna chiller le kar rakhta hai ki kbhi usse koi 500 ka kbhi 1000 ka chutta karwa leta hai. Main wo hun jo month end hone pe ye sochta hai ki is baar savings account me minimum  balance maintain hoga ya nahi, ya is baar IT walo ne kitna tax kaata hoga. Main wo hoon jo mahiney ki aakhri taarikh pe office jata hai to uski biwi har do ghante baad phone kar k puchti hai ki chai pee ki nahi, khana khaya ki nahi. Dar asal wo ye jaan na chahti hai ki salary mili ki nahi.

Main wo bhi hu jo kabhi Credit Card k line me fasta hai, kbhi Aadhar card k. Main wo bhi hoon jo saal me do baar SALE season ka wait krta hai. .Main wo hu jo jab shaan se apne imaandari k two wheeler pe nikalta hai to kbhi Mercedes ko side deta hai, kbhi Fortuner ko. Gaadi koi bhi brand ki ho bewajah side hota mai hi hoon. Bheed to dekhi hogi na aapne. Bheed me se koi bhi  working class ko dekh lijiye main wo hoon. I am just a stupid Chai Wallah, sorry common man wanting to equalise everyone's debts.

Gov: Aaj Achanak Ye Stupid Comman Man Kaise Jag Gaya, wo Bhi 100 kilo chai patti k saath.

CW: Kyun, Jag gaya to taklif ho rahi hai ?? Jindgi bhar ghut - ghut ke marte rahna chahiye tha mujhe...Dusro ko apne saamne amir hote dekhte rehna chahiye tha mujhe .. aur ye achanak nahi hua hai Governor sahab, Yu kahiye ki time nahi mila , fijul k media k uljhano me aur Videsh se kala dhan laane k chakkar  me ye kaam jara neglect ho gaya, Lekin der aaye durast aaye.. Wo dono notes aaj hi ban honge...

Gov: lekin ye do hi kyun? Aur bhi to hain 100 aur 50 k notes?
CW: Bas 100 aur 50 hi to hai humare paas saab inko ban kiya to khayega kya common man.

Gov: Tumhara koi apna kareebi kya tumse jyada rich hai ya jyada badi gaadi hai uske paas jisne tumahre Chai wala hone ka majak udaya?

CW: Kyun..mujhe us din ka wait krna chahiye jab koi apna, mere se jyada paise kama kar mujhe beijjat kar k chala jaaye. Jaan na hi hai to suniye. Ek marwadi tha jo roj mere dukaan pe aata aur 7 rupaye ki ek cutting chai pi k chal jaata. Naam nahi jaanta tha uska bas Udhaar khaatey me uska phone number rakha tha maine aur naam rakha tha Udhaari. Ek din wo ek kaali mercedes me aya aur 1000 ke dus note de kar bola "Chacha udhaar utaar dena aur KEEP THE CHANGE".

Gov: to tum ye us last k english sentence k badle me kar rhe ho?
CW: Nahi nahi nahi...English me itna weak bhi nahi hoon. I always knew what CHANGE is. After all we brought the CHANGE in 2014. par ye acceptable nahi hai koi bhi meri chai dukaan k saamne apne kaale dhan ki kaali gaadi me, kaale suit me aakar, apne kaale dhan k 1000 k note ko futkar kara le.   Unhe fakra hai apne badi gaadiyon pe, 1000 aur 500 ki gaddiyon pe, Hawala transactions pe...mujhe fakra hai khud main aise logon k 1000 aur 500 ke notes ko ban karwa raha hoon.

Gov: Tum saabit kya karna chahte ho?

CW: Main saabit kuch nahi krna chahta . Governor saab main bas aapko yaad dilana chahta hoon ki people live in poverty by force and not by choice. Aapko kya lagta hai ki jo log kaala dhan rakhte hain wo system se jyada inteligent hai? Arey internet pe 'how to hide money in India' search kar k dekhiye, teen sau baawan sites milengi ki kaala dhan kaise chupaye.

Gov: Tumhari ye home made add salt to toothpaste wali philosophy galat hai sahi tarika nahi hai. ? logon ko time to do.
CW: Haan..lekin aaj main tarikey k baarey me nahi! Natijey k baarey me soch raha hoon. Aap log saksham hai aise logon se niptaara paaney k liye. Par nahi..Why are you not nipping them in the bud. Mujhe yakin hai ki jo us din wo Udhaari apne black money ka note de kar Keep the change bola tha..wo ek bahut bada sawaal tha. Ki hum to aise hi black money hoard kar k amir ban tumse1000 aur 500 k futkar maangenge..Tum kya kar loge. Yes!! They ask us this question..on a Monday, mocked us on a Tuesday...I am just replying on A Wednesday!!! 

The movie is set to release early next year.

Thankyou for reading

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