Sunday, February 14, 2016

Letter from an aggrieved Shani dev to Maharashtra CM

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Halo CM saab,
Shani here. No, not Sunny Deol but Shani Dev or the planet Saturn you can always relate to. We both are ghayal ,although, he by acting as one and me by acting of my bhakts.
Well he can make an Ajay Mehra avatar again to fight for the truth so evident in his movies. But I am more or less a mute spectator since ages as the He-sena and the She-Sena are embroiled over something which I would never bother of.

I don’t understand the debate why the two gender are in a fix over ‘darshan’ from a handful distance of the “prohibited platform” when I am known to create turmoil in their life from a well over 1.2 billion kms. The two child of God, Men and Women, should primarily focus on my noble worship than turning their tirade into a naval warship. Both would drown if both fire in equal measure.

I am sure, sir, that the Girl-on-CCTV who dared to break the tradition and stood on the platform to offer an oil was a Vishnu incarnation. Much like Mohini  who incinerated Bhasmasura-the demon by mesmerising him into destroying himself by his own powers. I am known to instill fear in the minds of lesser mortals by saade-saati (my 7.5 years stay in a horoscope) . What I thought could be a     selfie-with-shani stint by the lady proved to be my nemesis as a saade-saati over me.

It could also be a ploy of other planets to demean my stature. The threat I impose on the innocent human beings and their subsequent offerings must have annoyed them. I was one God who enjoyed respect unconditionally, a god on whose name a day in a week is ascribed to. Citing my influence in the horoscope of a naive person astrologers made cash registers go ringing. People would crave for Sapphire stones across gem shops like a drowning person gasps for air.

All these fame and fear are spilled and washed down with the oil bath I was so comfortable with.
Now Devlok social media is abuzz with news like- Shani Shunned on Earth and
Girl Pours Oil on Shani-What happens next will blow your mind or on Quora-Why Shani is no more a threatening planet etc etc.

The continuous pouring of oil in Shringrapur was oil supply to Devlok.The  prices of which in Devlok are at an all time high since oil offerings in the shringrapur has dipped substantially.
The day since Shri Shri has mentioned names of Tirupati and Vishwanath temple both Lord Vishnu and Shiva are afraid of being scrutinised by fame seeking lesser mortals. Imagine what would happen if the inflow of wealth in Tirupati or the bhang in Vishwanath temple declines. That would be the recession of our times-when together oil, wealth and booze  touch record low levels.

Trust me this is the first time since Brahma incepted earth that Devlok is in serious threat of being abandoned by its own creation.

Sir, I am already cursed once by a lady who happens to be my wife. My eye sight is downward ever since . They would be ever shut if I am cursed again by whole gamut of feminine championing sena. So I urge you to settle the matter once and for all.

Or Rahul baba may cite the government to be too insensitive over gender discrimination and bring alive the much adored "intolerance" up to this town which boasts of no locked door in houses.
I am more afraid of Arvind Krantiwal who would demand that If he can go to a President house in sandal then not only women be allowed up to my idol but they be allowed to do so wearing sandals. Another krantikari thought, you see. After all how can you be so insensitive towards fairer sex.

As it happens in your country, what is labelled as the collective conscience of all is always represented by a few. Who in order to further their own interest make a mountain of a molehill.
But as God, we never invented tradition. For us everything living and non-living is divine and sacred. Everything you see or can not see is our creation. Men and women are born through us. As our child both are equally pure. Both can embrace me with purity not of flesh but soul instead.  

Threateningly and Lovingly Yours

Shani Dev

Thankyou for reading

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