An Open Letter To Bollywood: Mission Amangal Bollywood

I wonder if Bollywood had to make a ‘Zero Dark Thirty', they would

necessarily show Akshay Kumar fist fighting with Osama Bin Laden, before strangulating him around his arm. To a loud cheer and whistle from the audience Akshay Kumar would deliver, "Osama ye Bharat Maa ke betey ka haath hai, isse bach pana mushkil nahin naamumkin hai".

Why can’t Bollywood give a serious and an honest treatment to any story that deserves serious storytelling? Why it is always that in the name of showcasing true events on screen the Stars show case their own grandeur? Why do they forget that the story is always bigger than the storyteller?

Why not the star studded skills are left in vanity vans and a fair and sincere justice is meted to the stories likes Mangalyaan- ISRO's pioneer space mission to Mars The mission was a magnanimous achievement by a prestigious institution and it deserved more than just a commercial movie treatment as is shown in Akshay Kumar starrer Mission Mangal. The public does need entertainment while watching a movie but entertainment is very much possible without a song and dance sequence too or without few dumb sense of humour or showing over the board sequences like Akshay Kumar jumping across the table to reach ISRO chairman and deliver his words. Do you think in real life the esteemed scientist portrayed would have jumped across the table when he could have sublimely walked around it? Do you think the scientist would have carried a LPG cylinder over his head inside a meeting hall with full meeting going on to fry puri for practical demonstration on fuel saving? Why the scientists would mop the floors and paint the walls as is portrayed in the movie, instead of focusing entirely on the project? That, too, dancing? In the accent of Akshay Kumar "hainn?". They actually showed scientists dancing with brooms and all! Come on Bollywood grow up. Either you show a fiction with all your masala or show a movie based on real life story with real well researched events. You don’t mix up nonsense with sense and then say that's a sincere storytelling. Was it necessary to show a Muslim woman unable to get a rented accommodation because of her religion? Was it necessary to drop in a Saas-bahu angle, even when it was no where connected to the actual Mission Mangal? Why do you try to dole out same social message in stereotyped manner in movies which are based on real scientific endeavour? Don’t make your movies feel preachy every time we sit inside a theatre. There are far more people doing that now a days on social network. The first half was such a khichdi around the Mars Mission it felt as if we were watching a family drama based on lives of five women and not a movie based on space exploration. Just when the script went out of control, and as if to assure us that we are actually watching a movie based on Mars exploration, the director dropped in a song.  No points for guessing the words of the song. It was Dil me Mars hai. And because Mangal grah sounds similar to sanskrit word mangalam so there was also a background chorus of Om Mangalam Mangalam Mangalam. Ridiculous! Mars my foot.

There were few moments during the movie when I wished I was struck out of the theatre by an asteroid or consumed by a solar wave. During the launch when the communication was lost with the satellite, Tapsi Pannu switched off and on the entire communication system as if it was a desktop computer. Guess what? The communication was re-established as well. Kudos! Well it just doesn’t happen dear. In the end I was waiting for Akshay Kumar to tilt the rocket to 60 degree before firing the propulsion like a Bajaj scooter in Patiala. I am sure he would have suggested that before dropping the idea as too scientific. The movie used the word ‘home science’ very often. Rebudgeting a project is actually rebudgeting and not just home science as is portrayed in the movie. Well in their word they should understand that you don’t add masala to all the vegetables at home. Some vegetables can be cooked without the staple masala and still tastes good. And if all you have is MDH masala in kitchen then you better don't add it to Maggi and say that's Maggi. Maggi deserves a special treatment and so does few stories. By the way , what was the need to show a safety-pin prickled on the legs of Akshay Kumar during an irrelevant fight sequence inside the metro. Did someone laugh? I didn't. 

Trust me, public is far more intelligent now a days. You could have done away with that typecast American accent English speaking character, portrayed by Dalip Tahil, to show he is more inclined towards NASA. As if, in entire ISRO, the only English speaking scientist is the one who talks about NASA.  

Instead of absurdly making a more than two hour self tell tale, Bollywood should make one and half hour intense movie on such topics. The public in India is smart enough to lap it up. A serious treatment to such topics can be more engrossing and entertaining. It is time Bollywood try to sincerely compete for Oscars and not just eye the 100 crore collection. If all that matters is box office collection then please maintain the sanctity of such magnificent stories like Mangalyaan. Leave it to the fate of documentaries. We don’t need your farcical movies to realise the women empowerment in our nation.

I suffered from intense strokes of indigestion while watching the so called Based-on-true-events Mission Mangal. The next on the offer that week was Batla House, based on a true and much debated police encounter. But I felt sorry for my stomach which would have flooded out the moment a serious plot was interjected with the O saaki saaaki re saaki saaki. An item number in between a controversial encounter based story. Isn't that strange?

Well, back to Stranger Things on Netflix.