Tuesday, March 15, 2016

I Have Disproportionate Assets! Sue Me.

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Disproportionate assets, for the sake of novices, is an accumulation of personal asset which is not in proportion to the living style what a particular organization deems as deserving  for  you. Disproportion is commonly  ascribed  a negative connotation like possessing an asset whose value exceeds  the purchasing power of your salary. There are exceptions, though. If you don’t ride a two wheeler Honda Activa and instead drive around in a three wheeler Vikram Auto then it is not disproportion. It is a blatant example of  stinginess and you should conceive changing such ignoble habits soon in the larger interest of your family.

I too have disproportionate assets. So what? Drop me in front of a firing squad. But let me first rewind you to 2011.

Way back in 2011 when I cleared All India Engineering Services exam my family was elated like never before. The prospect of a  good Govt Job as a Group-A officer and a good salary made us dance to the Mother India’s  tune of  “Dukh bhare din beetey re bhaiya, Ab  sukh aayo re”. An extensive plan was  made over several telephonic conversations of how grand we shall lead the next course of life.  

Sensing a meaty feast my friends glided around like Vulture glides over a carrion. A thrifty person as I am, all my friends were treated lavishly with Rajma Chawal and lassi at a roadside Kerala Café. That was all I could afford in a 8000 stipend from the institute.

Back to 2016.

This month I received two messages in succession. The first one said your salary account is credited with an amount of 27000 for the month of Feb. I read it again to find the word ‘meagre’ before 27000. It wasn’t there. May be by salary standards 27000 does not qualify  for ‘meagre’ even. A government employee gets allowances in addition to salary. In hindi it is called ‘bhatta’ e.g  Travelling allowance is ‘Yatra Bhatta’. In the month of February for the past 4 years, in lieu of salary, I rather receive a ‘Jeevika Bhatta’ sustenance allowance.  I received few condolences call from unknown sympathisers. They  turned out to be loan lending agents. I thanked their concern and asked for a non-refundable loan. Their phone and my phone are at peace since then.  

The second message  was from legal extortioners- better known as Income tax department.  It asked me to pay an advance tax before 15th March to avoid invoking IT act. 24000, in bold numbers, is the amount deducted from my salary as a tax this month. This in addition to a perpetual dent of roughly 1500 each month  from April to January. Outraged by their act, which was a clear evidence  of salary foeticide through TDS much before it’s embryo matured in my savings  account,  I replied back “Plz consider going to hell”.

My Tax Saver expert friends suggested me to liaise with any of the money guzzling devils - 80C, 80CC, 80 CCD and 80 what not? To all such mocking suggestions, I humbly reply - 80 my foot!. Investing a lakh to save few thousand is a matter of affordability. When your earnings ensure that your investment in Café Cofee Day-CCD- is not more than a Cappucino-sans an extra cream-then tax saving funds don’t come even in a dream.(Hey, that rhymed!Didn’t it?). So,  if the money saved is money earned then money saving out of  an insignificant earning can also make you bankrupt. After all, one must cut his dress according to his cloth.

We all are brought up in a sanskaared family and we owe a responsibility towards them. Agreed that my family is not a melancholic blend of  budhi Maa, bin-byaahi behen and a lachaar bhai. But it is no better. An ever demanding sister, an equally low paid brother and a tech-struggler mother who in her ripe age chants deals of Snapdeal instead of shlokas of Gita, is a more devastating mixture. 
For some, it may appear as a financial fiasco at a personal level. But it certainly is not. I still think twice before spending money in a gathering. Thrice before buying stuff as expensive as a DSLR lens. I am yet to own a two wheeler forget an Innova I yearned, yet to own a home, yet to invest in any substantial capital.Yet to do a lot. My entire savings is two zeroes more than the word count of this post. I consider my assets to be in disproportion to what I should have after a 5-year long career span. In the last Annual property Return, I once thought to write under bold inverted commas – ‘huge disproportionate asset. Sue me!’      

P.S: I don’t rant about my Job or my salary. Far few people get an opportunity to find a sense out of what they do. Far less get to do something which has a larger reverberation than in just your family. Yesterday, an ATM receipt revealed to me an available balance of Rs 185.56 in savings a/c.Full fifteen days before the next smell of a salary, I didn't know what to do so just grinned back on the face of ATM. I believe there rests an underlying humor in every situation of life.This post is merely an outcome of that thinking.

 Thank you for reading


  1. Inspired by the way you write in your blogs, a sandwich of humour and thought. Hope to read many more. Kudos Dude.

    1. In trying times, Badri, such comments are inspiring :) thanks ra!

  2. Awesome read sir . can totally relate...i also got 22k this month :(

    1. really? let us together plan a strike :)
      Thanks bhai

  3. Sahi bola bade, chal apun strike karte hai


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