de-Merits of Drinking

Drinking and socialising are synonymous. Socialising quotient in an individual is more when people are drunk  than when they are allegedly under complete control of mind. So much so that you can intentionally slap a drunk friend and still get a “tu mera bhai hai” in return. Or demand a 100 rupee note and be prepared to get heaven in return “tujhpe jannat qurbaan bhai”. It is a different matter that their socialisation (unlike M.N Srinivas’s sanskritisation) is limited to people who are equally drunk and so there is no class upliftment. To those who are not drunk it is still socialisation with an added ‘anti’ as prefix.

Had it not been the moral support of alcohol hundreds of young adults, ditched by girls who change their boyfriend as eagerly as their dress, would become the loitering Devdas like the pet dogs around NewDelhi’s Connaught Place  market. It is then the booze that uplifts the moral of depressed soul to escape the promise of love and die together to find new promise of hate and forget her. With melting ice cubes in glass, melts his attachments and vengeance related to Paaro. The glass of whisky becomes a symbol of love and hate, of trust and betrayal. Holding it high in hand he invokes the Kishore Kumar inside him to sing  “Ye jo mohabbat hai ye unka hai kaam...!”.  

It is scientifically proven that the joy of drinking is more after a sudden heartbreak. These heartbreaks transform to eureka moments after few drinks when the sleeping creative beast is set large to take toll through facebook and whatsapp status updates.  By the time the bottle rescues itself from the drunkards all misgivings are laid to rest and focus shifts  to the new prospective Chandramukhis in the college. Thus, happy ending to Devdas.

Emotions travel faster than light in an inebriated atmosphere. It takes a nanosecond for a smile to turn into a sarcasm and sarcasm into mouthful of abuses. Sound energy of abuse and laughter transforms to potential energy of kicks and slaps establishing the law of conservation of energy. If you ever happen to land under such a situation it is better to pretend as drunken and concentrate on chakhna and masala peanuts. Lest you might become the target for energy dissipation for being an unequal among equals.

Such locations are where one can hold an audition of India’s Got talent. An aroma of alcohol and a hanging cigarette smoke unleash the hidden talent of an otherwise dull character. Jagjit singhs and Ghulam Alis perform incessantly till a Pankaj Udhas takes over. A singer , a poet, a philosopher, an economist, a political pundit  born and die with every new peg. The one who never held a broom properly in his hand  declares himself as a guitarist. Someone insists in reciting urdu shayaris by Harivansh Rai Bachhan while other passionately outpours Shakespearean sonnets in English that too without attending Rapidex English speaking course.

 Undisclosed relationships forged over a few cans of beer and sealed silently in elite whisky bottles are more stronger than the ‘in a relationship’ status updated on facebook timeline. The fb relationships might last upto few ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ or a fortunate one might live to see a few ’shares’ too, but the bond of beer lasts till your memory lasts. One may forget the name of the first teacher who  taught to hold a pencil but never the name of an acquaintance who taught to hold a beer can. “Yaar usne hi peena sikhaya”, a friend told me as tears swelled up in his eyes as he recollected his days of nurture and  enlightened me about the goodness of drinking.  And since ‘peena’ and ‘jeena’ rhymes in a go so he went on to extend the monologue to  “aur usne hi jeena sikhaya”.

Drinking is a great equaliser of masses. The poor forgets his poverty and the rich forgets his pride. A single whisky bottle, 4 glasses and a common cigarette puff can cut across caste,creed, age and religion and establish harmony more than any festival or politician’s speech. Even a hundred vedic mantras can’t energise the atmosphere more than mere clinking of glasses and resounding ‘Cheers!’. Summing it all in a quartet from legendary poem Madhushala by Sh. Harivansh Rai Bachhan:

बजी न मंदिर में घड़ियाली, चढ़ी न प्रतिमा पर माला,
बैठा अपने भवन मुअज्ज़िन देकर मस्जिद में ताला,
लुटे ख़जाने नरपितयों के गिरीं गढ़ों की दीवारें,
रहें मुबारक पीनेवाले, खुली रहे यह मधुशाला। 

Ps: No liquor was consumed while writing this post. An advice from my side please don't drink and write. or was it drive??Whatever. Given an option to Drink and write or Drink and drive, I'll prefer only drink. And if you insist on two acts i'll write and drive .No drinks. Because I watch movies and in movies they warn ' Alcohol is injurious to health'. I joined my left and right hand as a link on 20th in solidarity to liquor ban in Bihar.All because I am a tee-totaller. If you don't believe then I'll tell that soon in another boring combination of 700 words or so. 

Thankyou for reading